and she hates this feeling <3

Beside you I want to lay.
My ends they claim to fray.
My days turn to shades of grey.
I wish that with you I could stay.
Come on and sway over my way.
Speak those notions without delay.

Your path has become misguided.
Your future has become undecided.
Kiss my thriving lips to ease my soul.
Left with all of my damn self control.
My sensations you seem to have stole.
You hand me pieces, I want you as a whole.


Feeling the warmth of your body heat.
Walking home on this deserted street.
To my shaking body you are a treat.
The past I do not wish to repeat.
Temptation I am bond to defeat.
With my emotions I won't compete.


In clouds of smoke you can be found.
Soon you'll be falling to the ground.
Soon we'll be falling to the ground.
I'm wanting you like before.
Left with wanting you more.

It's an electric connection.
Follow and show your affection.
I can't stand through rejection.
You've become my selection.
Lean over to this direction.
Be my perfect protection.

Intensity runs through my blood.
My veins are rushing like a flood.
You offer your lips against mine.
I'm caught in your tangled vine.
You caress me with your touch.
Craving it a little to much.
You lend me your sweater.
I automatically feel better.
I just want your heart.
I just want to tear it apart.

You hand me pieces,
but I want you as a whole.

Dilemma.
Four guys.
One girl.

The first contestant is 19. I've met him once, we got drunk with my best friend. He has the house to himself all next week and wants me to come over. He's not looking for a relationship I can tell you that much; off to University soon. One or two nights of fun with no attachments.

The second contestant my age. I've known him since grade five. We have been on and off since then. He loves me and at points I think I love him but then it all changes. It goes from love to hate. He hasn't changed nor has he grown up. I don't want a little boy, I want a man. He wants a real relationship, one that will maybe last forever.

The third contestant is my age. I've met him once with a few girls. We have been talking since; haven't been able to hang out again yet because I am now in BC. He's really sweet and writes like me. He's shy and so am, hopefully we will be able to keep up a conversation! He seems to be looking for a "Cinderella", or so he says.

The final contestant is my age as well. I've met him once at the movies. He just added me on facebook and asked for my number. Almost right away he asked me out on a date to the movies and dinner. He doesn't even know me but maybe that's the point of the date; not sure haven't been on many real dates. He is really smart, funny and outgoing. Hopefully I'm not to shy if we go on a date. I have no clue what he is looking for, maybe just a girl friend.

Is it so bad to hang out or go on a date with all of them?
Not really sure how that all works.
I just want a good time or to fall in love.

Imperfections Revealed

I wish I was strong enough to ignore all you had to say.
I wish I was tough enough to not let any of it get to me.
BUT I'm not.
Whoever you are you are correct.

My body is not perfect. My breasts have disgusting veins and I hate it. Since the first day it was mentioned to me I noticed it. It stops me from wearing v-neck shirts to school without constantly being self conscious. I'm sorry that I'm NOT perfect enough, sorry you have to notice my imperfections. I wish I could fix it, I wish there was a way. I would pay anything to make it go away, that's how low my self esteem is now.

I don't understand what the use is to keep mentioning it. There is nothing I can do, why do you enjoy torturing me? Why do you enjoy cutting me down? I think it's pathetic that you get a kick out of that. It's disgusting that you get a high off of pointing out others imperfections. If I'm ugly on the outside to you at least I'm beautiful on the inside, unlike you.

I pray to god that ONE DAY you will grow up.